Normal Jean
by Kiki Silver
Summary: Let it be known that I don't like Jean Grey...but what if there was more to The Girl That Everyone Loves To Hate than meets the eye?


Normal Jean Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men: Evolution. I don't own Jean Grey either--thank god. Marvel and the WB Network does. I'm not making any money off this. Suing me will only make me cry. 

_A/N: This is something I wrote in an hour after reading a particularly nauseating Mary Sue...I think my muse must have been outraged^-^ Anyway, I don't like Jean Grey, but the onslaught of anti-Jean fics out there made me realize that she doesn't get fair treatment from the show or the fans, and that's too bad since she's one of the greatest Marvel characters ever. So I just wrote this to explore the possibility that there might be more to Jean than meets the eye...I'm hoping you guys pick up on the title, it was the best I could come up with under such short notice. ^-^ _

**Normal Jean**

I know what you're thinking. 

Jean Grey. The Girl Who Has Everything. Perfect hair. Perfect teeth. Perfect skin. Perfect body. Perfect wardrobe. 

You see me with the blond All-American captain of the football team, or with the dark-haired, mysterious guy who always wears shades. You see how they fawn over me. You talk about me behind my back, calling me "bitch," "tease," and "ho." I know this because the girls who pose as my friends like to come up to me and tell me these things. They're protecting my reputation by letting me know what's going on, but they're also reminding me that 75% of the female population at Bayville hates my guts. 

Jean Grey. The Girl You Love To Hate. 

But have you ever thought what it's really like to be me? Seriously, don't laugh. 

Let me tell you a few things about myself that not even my closest friends know. 

You may have heard of the Xavier Institute. It's where I live, along with my friends, Scott (you know, Shades), Kurt (AKA "that funny German exchange student"), Kitty (AKA "that ditzy freshman who's always hanging around upperclassmen"), Evan (AKA "the varsity freshman b-baller with the bad haircut") and Rogue (AKA "that goth chick who sits in the back of class and never says anything"). But you don't really associate me with them (except Scott), or with the Institute because you see me as perfect, popular, _normal_ Jean. 

On some level, everyone wants to fit in. But none of us do, not really. Those who want to most are the ones who never can. You might call them loners, outcasts, geeks, losers, nerds, even monsters. But they're the special ones, the ones who have not yet learned how to hide their true selves. Too bad they don't realize that being normal isn't so great--in fact, it's downright boring. 

But it is a lot safer. Especially if you're a mutant. 

Scott, Kurt, Kitty, Evan...and yes, even Rogue...they're like my brothers and sisters. My little family. And Xavier, he's our great white father. 

Xavier. AKA The Professor, who actually turns to me for advice at times. He calls me into his office and we talk for hours on end. Or at least, he talks. Mostly I listen. And when we are done he smiles approvingly at me and caresses my back. 

"You are an example to the others, Jean," he says. 

It's completely harmless, platonic affection that a teacher might bestow upon a favorite pupil. The kind of affection that teachers have always shown me. Especially the male ones. I can tell what they're thinking, and I don't need to use my telepathy. I know what grown men think about when they look at me. They've been looking at me that way ever since I was twelve. 

Like I said, we all want to fit in somehow, find our place in this world. The only way to do that in high school is to be normal, be popular, wear the right clothes, be seen with the right people. It comes more easily to some than others. Take Kitty, for instance. She's got everything going for her--but what makes her different (besides the fact that she can phase through matter) is the fact that she is a child prodigy. The Professor subjected her to a number of tests when she arrived at the Institute and discovered that her IQ is off the charts. In high school, that's a curse. She tries so hard to fit in, she tries so hard to _be like me_. I tell her that the kids at school will accept her if she accepts herself first and stops trying to overcompensate for her difference by acting like a ditz, but she doesn't listen. 

"You don't know what it's like, Jean," she tells me with a half-admiring, half-envious expression. "You're so pretty and popular and cool. You totally don't know what it's like to have problems." 

They all say the same thing. And maybe they're right. I've been blessed with so much--intelligence, wealth, loving parents, a stable and happy childhood. I know I'm beautiful, if only because people constantly remind me. I can't feel guilty for my life, but I can relate to what my friends are going through. Being a telepath, there's not much choice in the matter. 

But no matter how hard I try to reach out to people, they reject me because they think I can only feel pity for them. If I so much as compliment Rogue, she'll throw it right back in my face because she thinks I'm making fun of her. And it hurts, but I can't really blame her for acting this way towards me. The Professor told me what kind of life she's had. I've stopped myself from reading her mind, but I know she hates me. I've seen the way she looks at me when Scott and I are together. 

Scott. Why is it that nearly all my friends have a crush on him? And why does he always ignore them just so he can spend more time with me? Doesn't he know that just makes them even more jealous of me? Sure, I like Scott. I like him a lot. But he needs so much love, and we're so young...I just don't want to get too serious too soon. I feel that it would ruin our chances for later. I know he gets angry when I so much as look at another guy. Especially Duncan Matthews, who I like in the same way that I like boy bands and cotton candy...fun when you take them in small doses, nauseating on 24/7 basis. Duncan may be a jerk, but he's fun because I can be petty, superficial and foolish (all the things Jean Grey is _not_ and will never be) just by hanging out with him. It's relaxing, in a twisted sort of way. 

I am Jean Grey. I have to serve as an example to the others. I have to show them that it's possible to be a mutant _and_ a normal teenager at the same time. I have to dedicate my life to the Dream that mutants and humans can live together peacefully someday. That's the reason why the Professor has gathered us together, you know. He's preparing us for battle. Against what, I'm not completely sure, but I know that when the day comes that people discover who we are and what we can do, I will be ready. I would give my life for the Dream. The Professor and I talked about. He asked me if I would be willing to sacrifice myself, and I said I would. Really. I will. 

I don't think of myself as a saint. I just do what I have to. If that means being perfect, then so be it. I can't control what other people think of me. 

Well...actually I can. I could make you love me. I could make you think nothing but good thoughts about me, or I could make you think nothing at all. But I won't. It's hard, especially at school where there are so many minds and so much energy and sometimes all I want to do is shut it all out. But I can't. The Professor has taught me how unthinkable that is, to use my powers that way. 

See, it's not so easy being Jean Grey, not even for Jean Grey. I'm not asking for your sympathy. I don't even expect your understanding. Just...maybe you don't know me as well as thought you did. Maybe there's more to me than a great haircut and a 4.0 GPA. Maybe I hate high school just as much as you do. Maybe I'm as unsure of the future as you are. 

Maybe you and I aren't so different after all. 

  
**So...what did you think? Liked it? Hated it? Couldn't care less? Please review and lemme know!! That Professor sure is turning out to be a crazy old coot, no?^-^**


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